


Love Isn't Always Black or White

by savemycrustysoul



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Background Tojo Kirumi, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, Killing Game Was A Virtual Reality Simulation (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, One-Sided Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Game(s), Roommates, and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29848242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savemycrustysoul/pseuds/savemycrustysoul
Summary: Kokichi has hanahaki disease, and Shuichi is good at helping him through it - to a strange degree.~A post-game AU in which the killing game was a simulation. Kokichi and Shuichi are roommates.~Kudos and comments mean the world to me! If you have the energy for a comment please leave one!
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Love Isn't Always Black or White

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for ending of v3; I list the survivors

Shuichi placed a gentle hand on Kokichi’s quivering back as he coughed into the toilet. When he finally lifted his head, there was blood staining his lips, and white chrysanthemum petals lining the inside of the bowl, more blood swirling in the water. Kokichi’s face was scrunched up in pain, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Shuichi sighed gently and stood up.

“I’m going to get your green tea, okay? It’s best for the cough.”

“W-water,” Kokichi forced out, voice raspy, but Shuichi shook his head.

“Tea will sooth your throat better than the water.”

Kokichi seemed about to protest before his eyes widened and he returned to coughing up petals again. Shuichi brought the tea as quickly as he could, grabbing the jar of honey and spoon as an afterthought. Honey had been especially good for him. He hurried back to the bathroom of their dorm, not wanting to leave Kokichi alone for too long.

“Here, the tea,” Shuichi murmured, not wanting to make too much noise. The stupid walls of the dormitory were so thin, and Shuichi didn’t want to risk waking anyone else up. After all, Kokichi had entrusted this secret to him, and Shuichi wasn’t going to break it.

Well, you couldn’t exactly call it  _ entrusting. _ When you’re roommates with someone, it’s hard to  _ not _ find out if they have hanahaki disease, especially as bad as this. Several weeks ago, Shuichi had been woken up by loud coughing from the bathroom and had walked in to find Kokichi in the same position as he was in now - kneeling on the floor, shaking and spitting petals into the toilet. The cocky, confident boy was nowhere to be seen, replaced with a weak, scared, trembling mess.

The sound of a spoon clinking against the glass honey jar brought Shuichi back to the present. Kokichi’s hands were shaking so badly he couldn’t hold the spoon still, he realized too late, and quickly knelt to take the spoon from him.

“I can hold it myself,” Kokichi protested weakly, as Shuichi’s hand brushed his, despite his hand shaking.

“Look at you, you clearly can’t.” Shuichi took the spoon and scooped a dollop of honey, holding it up to Kokichi. “Eat it. It’ll help your throat.”

“Y-yeah,” Kokichi said after an awkward pause, voice shaking differently from earlier. He ate the honey in silence, staying quiet for much longer than he needed to. Shuichi brought him another glass of the tea, which he slowly sipped until it was empty. The glass clinked as he set it on the tiled floor.

“More tea?”

“I’m all right.” Kokichi sounded tired - it made sense, the petals made it hard to get a solid night’s sleep.

“Let’s try and get some sleep, then. It’s an early morning tomorrow.” Shuichi extended a hand, which Kokichi grasped and stood up shakily. He clicked off the light to the bathroom and flopped back into bed, the exhaustion finally starting to eat at him, but worry kept them both awake. It was quiet, so quiet that Shuichi could hear them both breathing.

“Hey, Shuichi,” Kokichi finally said, breaking the long silence. “How do you know all this about hanahaki? Did you research it or something? I’ve barely found anything online.”

“Oh. Personal experience,” Shuichi responded flatly and heard him sit up abruptly.

“Personal- you  _ had  _ hanahaki? When?”

“A while ago. Right after we left the killing game… none of you had woken up yet. Only Maki and Himiko ever knew, or at least if anyone else did, they never brought it up. They helped me with it, which is why I know all of this stuff. Trial and error.”

“Oh. Do… do you know who you had it for?” Shuichi looked at him in the dark and sighed.

“Well, it really wouldn’t be fair to lie, would it.” He took a deep breath in and said, “You.”

There was a moment of silence before Shuichi realized he should probably apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to spring it on you like that. That wasn’t fair of me. It’s okay, though, I got the surgery, so that’s all over and done with-”

“You  _ what? _ ” Kokichi cut him off. Shuichi sat up, concerned.

“Your voice is all choked up again. Are you in pain? More petals?”

“It’s nothing like that. It’s just- I- you-”

“You’re sure?” Shuichi stood up, poured out another glass of green tea, and carried it to Kokichi’s bed in case he started coughing again. As soon as he set it down on the table and clicked on the lamp, he felt a hand at his sleeve.

“Koki- ah!” He was tugged off his feet and immediately pulled into a tight hug

What the boy probably needed was comfort, Shuichi realized belatedly. He felt Kokichi start to shake and pull back.

“Are you  _ sure _ you’re okay?”

“Shuichi,  _ why _ would you do that?” Kokichi half-yelled, half-whispered, voice hoarse, before spitting out another white petal. “D-do you mean the one that takes away your ability to love?”

Shuichi didn’t understand why it bothered Kokichi so much. “Yes, why? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn’t mean to-”

“Uncomfortable?! I’m far past  _ uncomfortable, _ ” he said before wincing and coughing, harder than ever before. Shuichi cursed quietly as blood spattered onto the sheets and their clothing, already coming up with an excuse to give Kirumi when she inevitably found out somehow. Kokichi was still coughing, though Shuichi couldn’t see a single petal.

“Hey, Kokichi?” He said, leaning over worriedly. Kokichi finally convulsed and coughed up a whole blood-stained flower before staring at it in shock.

“Ah, you’re at that stage,” Shuichi murmured. “It’s going to get much worse and very fast. Unless you want that to happen, you have to either confess or get the-”

“I’m not getting the stupid surgery, Shuichi!”

“You should at least consider-”

“No! I might be willing to give away my life, but I’m never going to give away my love!” Kokichi’s voice finally gained some volume. He seemed oddly desperate and defensive.

“At least tell me who it is, Kokichi. Or have you still not figured it out?”

Suddenly, the atmosphere became incredibly awkward. Shuichi immediately backtracked.

“Sorry, I overstepped a boundary. But I think you should make your choice soon, or it could kill you, I’m serious.”

“I know. I know, I’ve already decided I’m going to confess. They deserve to know, even though I know they’ll never love me back.” He sounded completely defeated.

“Hey, you don’t know that for sure-”

“I  _ do, _ and that’s because it’s for you!”

A thick silence hung in the air. It took Shuichi a few moments to process the words he’d just heard. He had stayed silent for too long.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Kokichi sobbed, quivering. “I shouldn’t have- I shouldn’t-”

“It’s okay,” Shuichi whispered, because those were the only words he could think of. “It’s okay. I’m not angry.”

“You promise?”

“I promise,” he breathed.

“But… you said that you don’t- you  _ can’t _ love me anymore. Isn’t it just weird, then? For me to love you?”

“Kokichi…”

“I’ve put you through enough already. You don’t deserve everything I’ve done to you.” Kokichi squirmed out of Shuichi’s arms and pushed him away. “You don’t- I don’t- I don’t deserve you,” he finally choked out through tears.

“Listen to me.” Shuichi grabbed his shoulders, staring into his eyes. “You have me, Kokichi, and you always will.”

He watched as Kokichi blinked through his tears before suddenly burying his head in Shuichi’s chest, arms wrapped around his back. Instinctively, Shuichi hugged him back. It felt like they were two puzzle pieces who had finally clicked into place.

Shuichi didn’t know how long they stayed there, Kokichi in his arms, but eventually Kokichi finally looked up and met his eyes again.

“I know it’s not fair of me to ask this, but… will you ever love again?”

Shuichi exhaled. “Honestly, probably not. But you know,” he said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss onto Kokichi’s forehead, “Maybe you can teach me.”

**Author's Note:**

> The flowers Kokichi is coughing up are white chrysanthemums, symbolizing truth, loyalty, and love. Shuichi's were black rose petals, symbolizing sorrow, mystery, and death.  
> ~  
> If you liked this, please leave kudos and a comment, they mean a lot!


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